[Salesman walks into frame] "Have you ever wanted to have impossible stains to get out of your favorite shirt or dress? Introducing POWER STAIN! Rub it! Spill it! SLOSH it! Smear it!"
[Chipper young boy looks at salesman] "Wow, I don't even need to drop dinner spaghetti on me?"
[Salesman] "Yes Jimmy, that's right. No more wasted meatballs!"
[Camera pans to people getting messy] "Don't wait to reach your optimal and natural state of filth. Buy POWER STAIN now for one insanely low price of $19.99. POWER STAIN!! 'You've got gunk to show and we want your hard earned DOUGH'"
[Winking smile twinkle; dirty CLOTH hits salesman in face]