"Howdy and welcome to FRIED AL's PHONY TRAPS & GAGS Emporium! We got your classics like rubber landmines, broken bear traps, teasing tasers, but also modern additions like realistic ransomeware, and Allegro the animatronic guard dog. New in stock is this exquisite bouquet-sprouting tripwire shotgun! It'll keep their heart poundin' in their CHEST as they scramble from your abandoned property. For those that like to travel we have the dynamite jacket, perfect for being the center of attention on your honeymoon PLANE flight. Let your next LAPSE of judgement start here at Fried Al's Phony Traps & Gags Emporium. When you buy at Al's, you'll hoodwink your pals!"